ON THE BENCH

 

The chronically ill and their carers fondly recall the days when they could relax. They get to hear so much about how the lucky ones go out: a café stop on a long drive; relaxing with friends in a pub; being waited on in a restaurant; riding a train through magnificent landscape; on the beach, and oh, what a beautiful sunset; or a to show, to a museum, to an art gallery, whiling away the hours, uninterrupted!…and so on.

Well...Bollocks!

They don't seem to understand how miserable hearing of others having such good times makes us feel.  We just wish they could dial back a bit on the lurid detail.

Bitter, eh?

Yeah….I know I’ve run similar stories before, but far fewer that the countless reminders from OTHERS all over Facebook, for instance, who live the good life, all that shite.

They're not to know, of course. 

As it is, all we can talk about - reluctantly - is our miserable life. So we don't, generally.

Lovely corner of our patio - opposite the bench.

But now and again, like now, it bubbles over. Got to let it out.

The daily routine of the room bound patient confined to home… forever?

Well, we don’t know…certainly half a life so far.

For our very intelligent, clever girl. University degree with the World at her feet.

Instead, she has lain still in bed for years. Sensory issues rule out contact with anyone, even friends.

 No radio, no TV, no longer reads. Occasionally listens to quiet, meditative music. Will smile sometimes, if I can get away with daft antics.

 Why so ill? Well, there’s a faulty gene at work, yet to be identified. There are many terrible conditions and they are not all life-threatening. But nevertheless, you may as well be serving life. 

Take this lot, for instance.

Medical condition: EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) results in bendy limbs, weak connective tissue – movement causes pain.

POTS: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia – (movement results in adrenalin rush, and corresponding drop in blood pressure – light headed, dizziness, risk of feinting.

Autistic –meaning you are neuro diverse which sets you at odds with the ways of the world, in particular the accepted norms of social behaviour which are absolute foreign to an autistic person.

To cope they will mask their feelings, they will act, copy others to fit in. But there are no Oscars for this performance which comes with a heavy price and leads to intense fatigue.

And there are the sensory issues effecting hearing - everything is too loud; sight- everything is too bright); and extreme anxiety is way beyond the norm and which effectively cannot be countenanced by “feeling the fear and doing it anyway,” as one doctor who knew nothing opined. Not surprising that this leads to mental health issues the so-called mental health professionals dispute.

What else?  PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) means avoiding doing anything at all;    

OCD (Obsessive Compulsion Disorder) compelled to have tasks done in a very particular way).

Hypo-glycaemia ..When body sugar levels drop alarmingly, resulting in hallucinations – corrected by immediate intake of food.

To the few doctors who have helped, thank you.

To the many more, some we have had the misfortune to engage with and the many more we have heard about, who deny EDS and POTS exist. I would risk a custodial sentence if you ever cross my path.

And so, instead of going out, of living, sufferers can expect to spend their life “on the bench” – with little chance of getting to play - while their carers remain confined to living in an open prison.

Try this sequence, running 24 hours a day 365 days a year, including public holidays. It should provide a taste.

Our cared for daughter spends her waking hours in bed, as do many thousands of others in similar horrible circumstances, unseen, in rooms in homes around the world.

Ignored by your local surgery despite everything being on record. Unless you have cause to request a consultation for a run of the mill infection in need of anti-biotics, for instance.

The day begins with text message requests for service of one essential thing or another,   which will run at intervals of between 10 minutes up to an hour, transmitted to carers on standby below.

Start can begin any time from between 9.30am through to 1pm thro to and run to 1 or 2am next morning.

Here we go……..

Carrot juice, vitamins; curtains drawn on larger of two windows.

Upstairs and downstairs…. (For the carers).

Buttered Toast

Upstairs and down

Complan, and tray.

*Bucket (empty commode), turn the radiator down.

Up and down the stairs

Boxes (small boxes wrapped in cling film), used to wrap around wrists – response to allergies when using the toile.

Up and down stairs

Top-up two humidifiers

Up and down stairs

More Evian bottled water

Curtains drawn on larger of two windows

Blind half-way up one window

Upstairs, downstairs.

Baked potato in (means put in oven)

Up and down stairs

Blind all the way up

Curtains drawn on other window

Up and down stairs

Baked potato and homemade chicken and vegetable soup served

Up and down stairs

Wedge – to raise legs to aid circulation while lying on bed

Up and down stairs

Wraps (wraps for neck, heated in microwave)

Up and down stairs

Tea with sugar

Blind up, all the way up on the other window

Up stairs and down stairs

Complan

Upstairs and downstairs

Next, it’s Berries

Ice, bag full of ice for face massage

Upstairs and down again

Chicken juice

Empty the Bucket – the commode.

Upstairs and down

Boxes

Upstairs and down

Porridge

Up and down

Bottled water

Muffins

Up and down stairs

Top up humidifiers

Up and down stairs

Blinds down

Curtains drawn

Up and down stairs

Final wraps.

1am. Goodnight.

I had hoped to finish this beast of a piece in 666 words, but have overrun that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunak and Johnson and their world of make believe

 

NUMBER 10 tried to hide a government report confirming that Low-traffic neighbourhoods (LTNs) are popular and work well, encouraging walking and cycling, according to Peter Walker in The Guardian.

So, egg on the face of Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s who is claiming that LTNs are unpopular because they are unfair to motorists.

Here we have further evidence of shenanigans from on high, twisting facts to suit political agendas with, in this instance, the aim of winning motor voter support ahead of the General Election later this year.

10 Downing Street clearly  hoped  the report would support their case against LTNs.

When it didn’t Number 10 asked for the report to be put on a shelf.

Here are the nuts and bolts of it.

The report found that from the four LTNs which took part in the study twice as many councils supported them than didn’t.

It found that LTNs are effective in reducing traffic volumes without causing any noticeable increase of traffic in surrounding areas.

Sunak is claiming the report should have included more areas so more voices could be heard, but you can bet he wouldn’t be saying this if the report had found in favour of his claims.

And besides, he knows how these reports work – you take a sample and extrapolate from there.

Common practice and accepted as fair.

Nearly 2000 people in four sample schemes took part in the survey, finding 45 per cent in support and 21 per cent against.

The irony is that Sunak by making out  motorists are being treated unfairly  is opposing his own government’s support for Active Travel, so making a mockery of his already flawed climate control agenda which anyway is basically full of shit.

It would seem that the campaign to discredit low traffic neighbourhood schemes has probably been generated by politicians and the right wing media.

Breath-taking, isn’t it?

Yet this example falls well below that of the greatest political con artist of recent years.

The Rise and Fall of Boris Johnson

This of course is former Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, the subject of a television

documentary series “The Rise and Fall of Boris Johnson.”

Riveting stuff  but keep the sick bag handy,

We knew the guy was a con man.  His endearing personality, the scruffy schoolboy through-a-hedge- backwards haircut, the buffoon, the steady stream of quips. He missed his true vocation, Stand-up.  But this program reveals the depth of his deception in all its depressing detail, from people who worked with him and knew him well.

I recall first seeing Johnson in action, as the new London Mayor when he opened the Redbridge Cycle Centre, the temporary  home to Eastway demolished to make way for the 2012 Olympic Games Park.

He was clearly very popular. He duly climbed onto a bike and joined a mass of school children riding one lap of Indy Circuit finishing a towering fourth among the little ones.

“I can feel the form coming on,” he quipped to reporters. It was typical of the easy going affable Johnson.  On another occasion at a river event he was required to put on waders and step into the stream,   lost his footing and fell in.

Far from being flustered, he regained his footing and called out: “Come on in, the water is fine.”

These occasions were funny.  But then there are the misleading promises.

Remember this one?

As Prime Minister he declared he would build 40 new hospitals when the budget would stretch only to one and five major repairs at existing hospitals.

Told that to make the roads safer for cycling would take as much as £7bn, he proudly announced a few £mIllion instead – enough only for a few cycle lanes in half a dozen towns instead of the £billions needed to lay down full networks in towns across the nation.  He quipped about “cycling down cycle lanes in dappled sunlight”.

The danger was he left you with the impression it would all be done.

But beneath the fumbling exterior there was a purpose to all this – always to be the centre of attraction.

His main purpose in life, the program reveals, was to be liked, to get the top jobs; London Mayor, then PM, but with no clear idea on what the jobs entailed. It was all a game.

The investigation for this TV feature brought into sharp focus the damage he has done. As a journalist he is an entertaining writer. He spent 30 years rubbishing the European Union exaggerating issues without so much as checking his facts. Not his style.

It eventually cost him his job on one national newspaper, whereupon another signed him up.

His style is to bend with the wind, do whatever it takes to further his own personal crusade.

This was never more evident that in the build up to the Referendum in 2016.

The feature tells how despite rubbishing the EU he supported the UK‘s EU membership and was all set to back Remain before changing horses to back the Leave campaign. But it was a lie; he really hoped Britain would vote Remain.

Clearly he was banking on gaining some political advantage in this tactic!

Then we saw his undisguised shock when leave triumphed, followed by the political turmoil which would propel him into Number 10 when PM David Cameron resigned.

Cameron “Dodgy Dave” had permitted the Referendum believing that Britain would vote Remain.

Now he quit – to leave the mess to someone else to clear up.

Step forward Johnson who now had the job he’d always wanted, but not the baggage that came with it.  But he felt this was his lifetime ambition and the priority became to decorate his flat up in the roof.

He was faced with the task of, as he put it, “Getting Brexit done” when, as revealed from those closest to him he had no clear idea of what to do. His ensuing bluster and lies had driven a stake through the UK economy.

All we need now to complete  the farce is for the scruffy sod to stage a comeback, win over the doubters with his engaging wit and smile (he is earning £m as an after dinner speaker which says a lot about how many deluded types still support him).

In the back of his mind is sure to be the germ of an idea to become an MP again, and rescue the Conservatives in the General Election everyone is certain they should lose.

Don’t bet against it!

MANCHESTER EUROPEAN CAPITAL OF CYCLING

 

Manchester is cock-a-hoop at being chosen as the first European Capital of Cycling in 2024 by ACES Europe. It is in recognition of  Manchester’s promotion of sport and physical activity as a means of improving quality of life in the community.

ACES is based on Brussels and works in partnership with UNESCO, the United Nations Education and Scientific and cultural organisation.

In a nutshell, the organisation is championing transport initiatives, such as Manchester’s, which tackle today’s most pressing community needs.

It is something other towns and cities need to copy, for it demonstrates how to create safer traffic conditions which will enable people to cycle and walk instead of driving local journeys.

The award celebrates the growing Bee Network of cycling and walking routes across Greater Manchester, which has 1,800 route miles planned in a bid to reduce car dependency.

It is a few years since I featured Greater Manchester’s plans for cycling lanes and routes, with photographs of the first of the new Cyclops junctions, featuring traffic signalled controls for cyclists, pedestrians and motor traffic.

Cycle lane into Manchester featuring digital cycle counter display
 on Oxford road, Rusholme. 

The whole brilliant idea is the brainchild of former Olympic champion Chris Boardman during his tenure as Cycling Tsar, working with Mayor Andy Burnham. Many of the designs are based on Dutch methods, which are among the best.

Their plans won favour with councils and local residents across the Greater Manchester area, especially for those without access to a car and those who would prefer to get about under their own steam.

Greater Manchester has paid tribute to the many partners in their quest including

British Cycling, Marketing Manchester, Cycling UK, Manchester Active and TfGM, as well as volunteers.

They plan mile after mile of new cycleway to be built from the Velodrome and across the city.

The aim is to help build local cycling clubs in a move to provide access to all branches of the sport, from utility cycling to sport and leisure.

 

This will certainly boost the confidence of the cycling movement in the face of depressing news of a 5 per cent drop in cycling in England last year, as reported by the European Federation of Cyclists.

Further concern was caused by the government slashing funding for its Active Travel Policy, plus what is now believed to have been shit-stirring for political gain, Prime Minister Rishi Sunak calling for an end to 20mph speed limits and vowing to allow drivers into low-traffic neighbourhoods. He cannot do this for legal reasons, I read recently.

 

The Manchester award is a much needed boost, recognising their commitment to cycling in the face of government indifference. The development plans involve all 10 towns comprising Greater Manchester.  They include Trafford, Bolton, Bury, and City of Salford - which I understand is doing a particularly good job laying down cycle lanes.

Although I have no details of exactly how many miles of cycle lanes and routes have so far been built across the Greater Manchester towns,  Salford provides a good example of the progress being made

with  a number of routes/cycle lanes in place and others planned, as indeed do other councils across Greater Manchester.

Duncan Dollimore, Head of Campaigns at Cycling UK, is impressed. He told me: "What I can say from my own experience of Greater Manchester, is that you’re now seeing good infrastructure – in some places. I think it would be fair to say that not all of the infra (sic) is fully connected yet – so you ride along a superb protected cycle lane, but at some point it comes to an end without connecting to where you want to go. That said, it’s easy to criticise that, but a start has definitely been made.

 "There are more bike hire schemes, more cycle parking – and as a visitor to the city who knew it well years ago, I’d say it’s definitely going in the right direction."

1.      Roe Green Loopline: This route, built on a former railway line, connects various neighbourhoods including Roe Green, Little Hulton, and Walkden.

2.      Linnyshaw Loopline: Another former railway line transformed into a cycle path, linking Linnyshaw to other parts of Salford.

3.      Tyldesley Loopline: A pleasant route for cyclists and pedestrians, running through Tyldesley and beyond.

4.      Ellenbrook Loopline: Enjoy the wildlife and scenic views along this loopline, which passes through Ellenbrook and beyond.

5.      Port Salford Greenway: Connecting Salford Quays to Irlam, this greenway provides a traffic-free path for cyclists.

The busiest cycle route, says Manchester, is  the 8-mile Fallowfield Loop along a former railway line. This connects Chorlton-cum-Hardy, Fallowfield, Levenshulme, and Gorton and ideal for commuters and leisure cyclists.

 

Why Ljubljana's cycling policy shames UK cities

 

Guess what? I have read something which cheers me up! Makes a change from all the bad news which has me tearing my hair out.

I have read about grand cycling facilities abroad where many countries are taking steps to restrict car use.  No, not Holland nor Denmark this time, the leaders in sustainable transport planning often written about in this column.

Instead, this time we go  to Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia, who have shown what can be achieved. It gives you heart, proves that where there is a will transport congestion can be solved.

For this story I  am indebted to Jim Densham’s feature in the recent issue of Cycle, the excellent bi-monthly magazine of national cycling organisation Cycling UK.

The article, entitled: Less Traffic, More Cycling, describes the author’s experience when he visited cycling friendly towns while on holiday abroad, places which have successfully cut traffic congestion by creating safe roads in towns for cycling and walking.

He writes that last summer he visited Ljubljana (pictured above) where he found a huge area of the old city is pedestrianised…”enjoyed by thousands of people taking in the sights, buying from market stalls and food vendors, and relaxing in on-street café seating.”

But by contrast, 60 miles away in Trieste in Italy, he found the town was throttled by traffic, with noisy, crowded streets, narrow pavements, the stench of traffic fumes, cars and mopeds rushing about. Just like in the UK. It was a world away from the capital of Slovenia.

Densham tells that Slovenia made changes following a “52 per cent increase in car use between 2002 and 2012".

So they came up with radical plan to limit motors and give priority to pedestrians, cyclists and public transport. Over 10 hectares – just under 25 acres - of the city centre was pedestrianised.  Doesn’t sound much when converted to miles, 0.386 square miles.

But that fact in itself reveals how little road space is needed to  improve conditions.

It can make a big difference.

Densham says it shows that huge challenges can be met in the urgent need to restrict car use, and he also mentions the initiatives in Paris which hosts this year’s Olympic Games. Barcelona, too, aims to put people before cars.

He mentions Ghent in Belgium which seven years ago introduced a city “circulation” plan to dramatically cut car travel in the centre. The changes boosted cycle use from 22 per cent of journeys to 37 per cent.

All of these fine initiatives show just how far the UK lags behind.

                              Torquay's bonkers answer to overcoming a gradient on a cycle route

                                                   was to provide steps (see Blog June 2, 2022). 

                                             Do note, the above pic is not the Torquay masterpiece.

The author  compares his experiences abroad to the reality of his home city of Glasgow, streets full of traffic. A visit there, he says, may leave a bad taste in the mouth, literally.

Which can only get worse. Densham writes that government predictions for England and Wales say traffic is to increase by up to 54 percent by 2060.

A grim picture.

Elsewhere in Cycle, the various stories reflect on the huge enthusiasm in Cycling UK to get Britain cycling despite the setbacks. Setbacks such as government slashing funding for cycling; of plans

to allow traffic to enter previously  restricted areas because Sunak thinks this  unfairly punishes motorists.

If Britain is good at anything it is dancing the Quick Step.   They agree to funding cycling one moment, then slash the budget the next; one step forward, one step back. The Cycle Planning Quickstep.

The front cover of Cycle depicts a London city night scene and a huge Cycling UK slogan on the side of a building declaring “Rishi, fight climate change…don’t fuel it.”

 

 

Sunak's pro driving policy prompted by conspiracy theory

 

Recently I discovered the twisted logic behind Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s plan to do away with low traffic neighbourhoods in  order to allow drivers free access them. Low traffic neighbourhoods were created to make them safer for residents and to encourage walking and cycling.

You may have thought that creating traffic-free areas was more relevant than ever with the need to reduce traffic pollution in a bid to tackle climate change.

But to hell with all that, says Sunak. We cannot punish the motorist!  

                                                 

Clearly, he is shit scared of losing votes in this year’s general election and is turning current transport thinking on its head.   He is not considering for a moment that taking a stand to help reduce car dependency might instead work in his favour.

I have since learned that Sunak’s decision, which flies the in face of the government’s own Active Travel Policy, was based in part on a conspiracy theory whipped up by ministers concerned about “15-minute cities”!

“15-minute cities”, explained Peter Walker in The Guardian recently, is an urban planning concept devised by France-based urbanist, Carlos Moreno.

It is described as a broad planning concept devised for people living within easy reach of schools and work places, for whom cycling and walking would likely offer an attractive alternative to driving.

It is all part of the world wide move to reduce car dependency and reduce pollution which is killing people and one of the causes of climate change which could  ultimately wipe us out. But who cares, says Sunak and cohorts, we can’t allow that, its anti-motorist!

According to Cycling UK’s research large numbers of people would willingly switch to cycling for short journeys instead of always using the car, if road safety was improved. It was not about forcing people to stop driving, they have insisted!

Restricting vehicular access to certain neighbourhoods was seen as vital to improving road safety, and this has largely been acceptable in government circles for years.  It was never the intention to force people to stop driving, but to restrict access and bring calm to residential areas where children may play as they always used to be able to do, and cyclists and walking becomes safer.

The current problem has its roots in the 1960s, when car ownership took off. The government of the day seized on this, with a policy to encourage drivers to be able to go where they liked and when they liked. And most drivers believe it.

Trying to row back on that “promise” is proving a problem.

So now we have a government which has dropped all pretence at supporting Active Travel and has become gripped by the fear drivers are unfairly being targeted.  Supporting this belief are conspiracy theorists that see it as part “climate lockdown”, in which, as Walker describes it “people are forcibly kept within their local neighbourhood and not allowed to travel.”

Walker reports a speech by Mark Harper, the transport secretary,

 made to Conservative conference in October.  In this bonkers speech he describes 15-minute cities as schemes in which “local councils can decide how often you go to the shops” – which was incorrect and never been proposed in Britain.

But we are where we are. Sunak – bidding to become our fourth useless Prime Minster after Johnson,

May and Truss – is set to scrap government guidelines to local councils to install more 20mph speed restrictions, spreading the lie that Active Travel policies intended to improve the quality of life are in fact “anti-car measures”.

 

 

Wishful thinking

 

The New Year dawns and my wish are for more things to go right than wrong in 2024.

So good bye to miserable, tension filled days. Welcome to doing nice things, fantasy things, like those Facebook posts which report that so is at the Pier Head.  Or so and so is in Thirsk, having a beer.  And they get a 100 likes and lots of fawning comments.

Or so and so is in the Bahamas – again. I admit to being envious.

Are they lying?

I don’t think so. I think they are “blessed”.

"Wish you were here" by Pink Floyd. 

We’re not blessed. We be carers and worn out with worry for our room-bound patient.

And, like our dear daughter, we be house-bound - for years now - as a consequence, like so many thousands of others.

Better days will see us all getting out there. I'm all for wishful thinking.

I think we'll take Eurostar to Paris, just for starters.

Official at check in: Sorry sir, the Chunnel is flooded, no services. There are thousands of frustrated customers here, their holidays ruined.

What? I don’t give a toss. I do not wish to hear this.

Let me speak to the driver.

Hi, there, can you get on to control; tell them who I am... We wish to get to Paris, my family and myself.

The driver calls control, gives them my name.

Control says: If he’s the train spotter who used to stand at Wigan North Western in the 1960s.  My dad knew him. Good man. Good to go the Paris. Never mind the flood. It’s only a few inches, drop the speed to 50.

Driver.  Turning to us   Hop in. Your wish is my command.

Zoom…300kph and Paris in two and half hours, taking a little longer due to the flood in the Chunnel.

 

No need for the snorkels.

At the Gare du Nord, we lunch nearby at Restaurant  ‘Poo Poo’,  across the road..

What next? Oh, yes. What do you on a day trip to Paris with so little time to take it all in?

You go to the one place which will confirm you were there and no where else.

We take a cab to the Eiffel Tower, go the top 1000 feet up, and admire the view in the setting sun. Then cab to the Gare du Nord and our Eurostar which is still not running – they say.

“Pardon, Mons,” says platform official.

“Etes-vous observateur de trains du Nord Western de Wigan?”

Qui. I say.

“Allez. Bon route.”

We are waved forward by our driver. Off we go, back to St Pancras.

A dream trip.

And now how to deal with daily Hell of the self-service checkout at my supermarket.

These newly introduced machines are meant to ease the pain of shopping, but they don’t because they are likely to misread most of the goods scanned.

Shop with own Bag? The screen says.

Place bag in position, orders the screen.

You scan in the first item.

Place your purchase in the bag, it says.

I do so.

At the third item the machine fails to register it in the bag and tells you to put the fucking thing in the bag.  I have done so, I say, but it takes no notice.

Instead on screen message appears in red “Assistant coming”.

Except they take a whole minute or more which is too long.

The assistant presses keys, juggles this, that, the machine relents.

I am able to proceed to the next  item, number 4 of 15 and if its bad day the machine will four more times stop and query  something or other, taking a dislike to the bread, or the tomatoes, or whatever, the colour  of my coat: and each time it calls for the assistant.

This is happening all down the line to other customers, all now quietly seething.
I seethe, but noisily.

WILL YOU GET RID OFTHIS HEAP OF JUNK!!!

I know now how to take charge of the situation. I take my cue from Richard, the big Aussie ex-firefighter who decades ago did a spell at Cycling Weekly designing page layouts on screen.

Whenever there was glitch and the page froze he would exclaim loudly with Aussie expressions.  Then to my delight, remonstrate with the machine by smacking the computer with the flat of his hand. This direct action would elicit a cry from the editor’s office where Andy would call out. “OH, no…, that’s a few thousand pounds worth of kit”!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, at the first sign of trouble with the checkout shit heap I smack it hard. Shoppers turn their heads in my direction.

You bastard, I call out, raising my voice.

It doesn’t always work. But satisfaction is guaranteed.

GET RID OF THEM,  I tell the assistant and managers who come running.

Next day, we have a splendid take away frozen meal from COOK. We have Beef Stroganoff – or as Sid, mishearing the waitress, once said: “Strong enough for what, dear?”

And from the wine cellar all good Face bookers have, a bottle of Chateau Nuff Du Wot. Or was it Blue Nun?

The following day we’re in Bournemouth, watching the heaving seas as waves crash onto the beach.

Then to the silence and grandeur of the Scottish Highlands, oh, the majesty of those peaks.

Off to Stockholm, to wander about the old town – Gamla Stan.

There is a parachute jump at Biggin Hill.

Risky.

We go Nordic Walking with sticks over our local Surrey Hills – always a good workout.

Finish with a coffee in Mullins down the road, named in honour of its long gone owner, identified on the Blue Plaque on the wall outside: “This is the house of William Mullins,, a Pilgrim Father who sailed to America on board the Mayflower in 1620. “

Wishing you all the best.

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘Windmills of my mind’

 For this blog I have cherry-picked a number of short stories from “Pedals turned in Anger” – my unpublished ramblings.

Here goes.-

 When British riders won all three Grand Tours in one year.

HOW did we get here? I often reflect upon this, now I am now longer a roving reporter for Cycling Weekly. How did this sport survive scandals and upheavals across the decades to become the leading cycling nation in the world?

It really is – to use a tired cliché – rags to riches story.  And one which every bike rider in the land took pride in and it still takes some getting used to.

Despite their image tarnished following doping investigations this past decade, with accusations of sexism and bullying, British Cycling’s stock rose again with home riders Grand Tour domination in 2018.  The unique treble in winning all three grand tours – the Giro d’Italia, Le Tour de France and the Vuelta a Espana.

With three different riders!

No one saw that coming, did they?  All three Grand Tours won by one nation!

This was a stunning and unique feat no other country has achieved and one which, despite the still simmering scandals embroiling Team Sky and British Cycling, puts them among the world’s top cycling nations. 

The history makers: Chris Froome in the Giro; Geraint Thomas in Le Tour; and Simon Yates, the Vuelta.

 

The marriage of success to failure

Our cyclists are celebrated multi-Olympic and World champions. Three of them have won the Tour de France – Bradley Wiggins once –Knighted for his efforts - and Chris Froome four times, plus Geraint Thomas once.

Honours fell like confetti on British Cycling’s riders and top officials.

Yet despite this celebration of our elite riders, the prospect remains remote that the roads will ever be made safer for cyclists, be they sporting cyclists or the tens of thousands of ordinary cyclists, too. The roads will remain as inhospitable to cyclists as ever.

The glaring failure of the  Olympic 2012 legacy

No one had a bad thing to say about the London 2012 Olympic Games.

I enjoyed them immensely, especially the road cycling witnessed in the flesh, but I had to make do with watching the track from my armchair – all tickets sold out!

Even the man who built the banked track, Ron Webb, failed to get a ticket!

But afterwards, post Games; there has been one glaring failure in the delivery of the Olympic Legacy in the Queen Elizabeth Velopark. Mountain bike racing, an integral part of the original Eastway circuit ripped out to build the Games Village, never made it back. Mountain bike riding did, let’s be clear, but on a track too narrow to allow racing.

MTB racing was “designed out” when the circuit they put back afterwards was deemed unsuitable for competition! 

 

When an Olympic hero phoned me!

At 426pm, as I was having a coffee and meatball Panini at Café Ritazza, my mobile rang.

“Hi,” I answered.

“Keith, it’s Chris.”

It was Chris Hoy, the most famous Olympic champion in the UK that year, 2008.

What a player. The MAN called me back!
Earlier that afternoon I had hoped to collar him at the Manchester Velodrome, but he simply did not have the time to speak with me. “Give me your number, I’ll call you later,” he said.

I was impressed. An Olympic hero phoning me? He had been in great demand by TV and for dinners and shows since he had wowed us the Beijing Games.

We didn’t have a good line. In one ear, booming station announcements. In the other, our greatest Olympian.

It was a hasty interview, not one of my best. Just a couple of minutes to see what he was doing next.

Is he riding the Revolution? (track meeting)

“Yes.”

In the last four months, taken up with public appearances and TV interviews and shows followed by a much needed holiday, did he get to ride his bike?

“Wednesday was the first time on the track. I took my road bike with me on holiday to Thailand, so did a little road riding there.”

Chris, let’s talk about your second gold medal of the Games, in the team sprint when you whacked the French.

That gap which you let open as Staff screamed away on the opening lap of the team sprint final, was that a problem? How much harder did you have to ride to pull that back?

His answer got tangled up with an announcement for a train to Crewe. I think he said he held it, then accelerated to close it at the last moment, so when Kenny, the man in front, swung up for Hoy to come through, Hoy was already travelling at a higher speed.

How many public appearances has Hoy made since Beijing?

“Phew. Don’t know. I’ve had one day off,” he laughed.

“The open-top bus ride in Edinburgh was probably the best – the Castle, Royal Mile. There were 500,000 people turned out. It was amazing.”

And they he had to end his call. What a player. What a nice man. I was so taken aback I almost missed my train.

Hinault versus LeMond...1986

Stage 18, Briancon-L’Alpe D’Heuz, 162.5 km.

My story in Cycling Weekly began:

“This was one of the greatest days in Tour history as Bernard Hinault tried to take back the yellow jersey he regarded as his own, from his own team-mate, Greg LeMond!

“Like two prize fighters the pair went in search of the truth over the terrifyingly high Col du Galibier, where the snows never melt and ice lines the roadside. Then over the Col du Telegraph, the Col de la Croix de Fer, and finally up the famous 22-hairpin climb of L’Alpe d’Huez, to complete the alpine “circle of death”.

On the descent off the Galibier, Hinault had dived into the attack, and his prey, he said, was Zimmerman.  But as far I was concerned, he might lose LeMond as well! Hinault plunged to a 20-second lead before LeMond seemingly unaware of the danger, reacted after the prompt from Cabestany.

LeMond took off, taking Cabestany with him, and, of course, their big rival Zimmerman and they all joined Hinault.

Rendezvous at first light

Discovering the magic of the early morning TT

This was early 1960s.  

It’s very quiet. Not a sound. The sun has risen and is edging above the eastern horizon, shafts of piercing light chasing away the last of the night.

The two teenagers, recent recruits to the Merseyside Wheelers, are to meet with club mate George Corfe, to ride out to their first club “25”, at Lydiate, a few miles out of town.

 It’s 5am Sunday, and they wait as arranged, at the junction of Queens Drive and Derby Lane, in Liverpool.  Silence.

Oh, but there is a just a tiny sound.  A light breeze sends fallen leaves and newspapers rustling and tumbling across the empty wide dual-carriageway.

Otherwise, absolutely still.  No traffic. They whisper so as not to disturb

sleeping sparrows awaiting the coming morning glory.  Nor the sleeping families in nearby houses.

They look way back down the road, in the direction from which George will come, to where the wide, empty road bends out of sight 400 yards away.

He’s coming!  They know it. Can’t yet see him but they hear him, or rather they hear something they had never heard before. It was a sound destined to make them slaves to their new calling. 

It is the faint hum of expensive lightweight tubulars singing on the smooth tarmac. Music!

The distant figure of a racing man hoves into view, alone on the wide, still empty road.  He rides fixed wheel. His bike gleams. It is shod with the best silk racing tubulars.  The sunlight flashes off polished stainless steel spokes.

The pair push off as he nears; begin rolling in the direction they must go.  He glides silently alongside, eases back just a bit, sits up and turns to his young friends, “Orright?”  smiles George.

“Nice morning. Fast times today – we hope”.

This was my introduction to the secret world of the early morning club time trial.